Peregrine Falcon

“Wandering falcon”

There is a Peregrine Falcon living on my street. I sat on the balcony this evening to watch the flame red sunset when my parents pointed it out to me. It is nesting in a nook of my neighbour’s roof. I watched it tucked up in the corner: a positively majestic creature. I wonder about my instinct towards the mighty creatures around me. Even though logically I understand that a Peregrine does not need it, I offer my protection out of reflex.

So it is with the strongest people I know. Though I understand that in moments of quiet they do not need my protection, I still find myself projecting it, sometimes too keenly. To them I offer this explanation: I do not wish to stop you from standing on your own two feet and I certainly do not think you are incapable of a mighty strength. Perhaps it is partially a reflex from a need to be needed. Or perhaps it is because I see you fight with all your strength in everything you do and if I see the opportunity to help shoulder your burden, I instinctively take it.

I hope you understand that it is a cup of tea that I offer to you without agenda.

there's a mind under this hat

Laura Marling

Photographer: unknown

and I'm clearing all the stuff out of my room

trying desperately to figure out

what it is that makes me blue

and I wrote an epic letter to you

and it's 22 pages front and back

and it's too good to be used

and I tried to be a girl who likes to be used

I'm too good for that

there's a mind under this hat and I

called them all and told them I've got to move

-Laura Marling, Goodbye England (Covered in Snow)

Sometimes I am afraid of becoming lost within my thoughts and never finding my way through the haze. When I am wandering in that world it is uplifting to stumble upon something that accurately reflects my situation, preventing me from becoming incapacitated; a sign that literally signifies where I am. For me, a song, a poem or a passage from a book can act as a lighthouse on the shoreline. Perhaps recognising a part of myself within the words that someone else has written prevents me from feeling isolated. Seeing (or hearing) another person's weakness translated into beautiful art inspires me to do the same. If I reach even one other person through that action in my entire life, it will be worth the paper it is written on.

Lou

When the night comes

                           Photographer: Lou Mailey

I sit alone on the damp grass in a deserted field

with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders 

it is pitch black but for the stars 

out of the darkness the night comes

my soul soars above everything

his voice reaches out to me on the wind and strokes my cheek 

I am no longer alone. 

Not to be confused with dull

Photographer: Lou Mailey

lull

to soothe or quiet; the subsiding of furious activity; stillness

I have previously overlooked the word lull and confused it with the meaning of dull - perhaps because it sounds similar. I didn't quite appreciate the difference until I looked up the definition recently. I have a new perspective on lull. I think it is a beautiful word and an accurate reflection of where I am right now.I have discovered that being still, quiet and calm is not the same as being passive.

I'm in a lull. Not to be confused with dull.

Holistic dentistry

dens sapientiae

I have been to the dentist quite frequently this year for a myriad of reasons (though not because my dentist resembles an Adonis...because he doesn't). Each time I sit in The Chair, I find myself close to tears and on the verge of falling to pieces. Usually I am a gladiator when it comes to the dental chair so this wuss-like reaction is unnerving. On closer inspection I can attribute it to a recent phase of intense internal change: the repercussions of which are still unfolding throughout my life.

My kind and softly spoken dentist radiates the capacity for healing and I suspect that this is the catalyst for my flowery response. Healing my heart is an isolating experience so I am fiercely protective of myself and letting someone take care of me - even in the capacity of a dentist fixing my teeth - softens me. I respect his ability as a dentist and when I sit in The Chair I trust him to heal my teeth. My reaction is relief mixed with overwhelming gratitude because it feels foreign to let my guard down in any small way.

I am living in my own head so much that a simple trip to the dentist is not safe from reflection. In truth, I find it beautiful that clarity can be extracted from seemingly mundane activities when my eyes are open.

Seeking: the strength to grow and overcome

"The thought of her brought to his mind the sense of her wise and childish sweetness. She was not like any person he had known. 'She is like a little fish, a minnow, that swims in a clear creek,' he said,' -defenceless, yet you cannot catch her.' At this Vetch looked straight at him, smiling. 'You are a mage born,' he said. 'Her true name is Kest.' In the Old Speech, kest is minnow, as Ged well knew; and this pleased him to the heart."

Ursula Le Guin - A Wizard of Earthsea